Date is 28/08/2021. Remembered that day again.
Woke up to my bird chirping from the corner of my room, trying to cover my ears so I wouldn't hear the noise. I looked directly outside of my window, and saw the beautiful sky as I always see. Tried to put a smile on my face, tried to breathe, tried to not cry my lungs out. Tried.
Wished to not hear that bad news through a phone, and wished to not lose my dearest friend. I understood everything in that rush. People coming out of nowhere in our tiny home, prayers being read, crying sounds, and a whole lot of other stuff. I was just standing there, trying to understand what was going on. I was little but the news I was about to learn was too heavy for me.
Days went by, finally I learned what was going on. I can't forget that day, I cried for hours, days… Tried to run away from reality, but in the end I was in that hospital holding his hand until his last day. Talked with him for hours, showed some photos of that day that he couldn't see, told him about my day even if I wasn't sure he could hear me, brushed his hair even while he was sleeping. I just stayed in room 362 with him until the moon went away from the stars. That month I just waited for a miracle to happen. What was supposed to happen was bound to happen, but how could I have known that? I was 12.
That day was rainy and cold, a slight wind that i got goosebumps, still waiting for a miracle to happen.
In the end, days later when I was at the school waiting for my taxi to arrive, I received a phone call from his brother that my soulmate passed away.
I fell on my knees, it bleed but I couldn’t feel any pain. Cried, cried, cried.
Wished for hours that he was in a good place. I know that one day I will meet with him somewhere there. I am living just because of our promise we made together. I will never forgive myself for not being able to tell him I love him for the last time. That was it. I lost him when he was 10 and now I am 17.
The days when I go to his grave are always windy, as if he was right next to me and caressing my skin. It's as if my whole body stays warm under the cold wind, as if he's controlling that wind, he hugs me like it's real and doesn't stop hugging me until I leave by his grave. I know that he knows I am next to his grave digging some dahlia seeds. He loves dahlias.
It has been years without him. Tomorrow i am going next to him and see if he has flowers all over his grave. It is a surprise, don’t tell him…
Tell your loved ones that you love them, it might be your last day with them without you knowing. Hug them tightly like you will never let them go. Kiss them how you first kissed them. Make them feel that you love them.